Grip on Power
I was just thinking whether to start warming up the sauna when I heard a strange whizzing sound and a sudden splashing of water near the shore. My dog Reiska started to bark furiously.
    Reiska and I were doing evening chores at the cottage. The cottage was on an island in the south-western in Finland. There were no other cottages on the small island and therefore peace reigned supreme. The mainland was about two kilometres away.
    It was the end of May. The sky was clear and the setting sun gilded the trunks of the pine trees. The sea glistened peacefully. Further out a swan was quietly swimming along.
    I had come to the island the night before. I was getting everything ready for the summer. My wife had to stay behind in town because of work. I thought of staying here a few days, do some fishing and just go about fixing the place at my leisure.
    Reiska kept barking. We went to the shore. Gradually the dog's growling changed into a whimper and it laid itself on the ground while I continued to walk toward the rather run-down jetty where my little boat lay moored.
    A strange looking vessel was slowing approaching the jetty. It was round in shape and perhaps two metres wide. It was made of some kind of shiny metal. Numerous antennas were protruding from its surface.
    It rammed into the jetty and came to a standstill.
    A hatch opened and a green creature crawled out and jumped onto the jetty. It was about half-a-metre tall and had a slight human resemblance. Compared to its size, it had enormous eyes and on the top of its head were what appeared to be disc-like antennas. These were rotating back and forth. The creature did not look particularly handsome: arms were unnaturally long and the legs far too short. I thought it must be a humanoid.
    The creature opened its little mouth and asked in a shrill voice:
    - Are you the leader? I was astonished that I could understand what it was saying since I though it was an alien and I asked:
    - What, you can actually speak Finnish?
    The creature replied somewhat annoyed: - This is a lingua universum which everyone understands and those who master it can understand all the languages of the world. But I have not come here to discuss philology but instead to enquire whether you are the leader.
    - The leader of what? This island?
    - Of course not, but of the world, said the creature.
    - I most certainly am not. I have never even reached the position of a head of the department at work.
    - Well then, is that the leader of the world? the creature asked pointing its unnaturally long arm at my haplessly whining dog, Reiska, some ten metres away.
    - Haha, him a leader? The dog? Listen here, I don't even know if the world has a real leader. I don't think that the general secretary of the United Nations can be called the leader of the world. The president of the United States may, in reality, be seen as the biggest boss, but…
    - Well then, from now on you are the leader of the world.
    - Me?
    - Yes, you. Someone has to be pointed to the task and I do not have the time to go around looking for the most suitable candidate. You are the most suitable one because you happen to be here right now.
    - Who are you?
    - I am a special envoy of the Master of the Universe. I have been ordered to survey the more far flung galaxies of the universe to see if they contain life. If they do, a proper administrative system must be established. The situation here on earth seems rather chaotic. Now that you have been named its leader, it is your duty to create a uniform and well functioning administrative system, in a word, calm things down into an orderly and reasonable state. Your have full authority to do so.
    - But how will other people know that I am the leader of the world? People tend to be rather suspicious.
    - Good that you mentioned it, said the creature and jumped back into the strange rounded vessel through the open hatch and returned holding a small object in its hand. It gave it to me saying:
    - Here is the sign of your authority. It was a plastic card much like our own ID-card or a bankcard. On the card read in lingua universum something that even I could understand:
              The owner of this card is the leader of the world.
              He has absolute authority and everyone must
                          obey him.
                  The Master of the Universe 

Vuoden 2000 käsikirja (1999)
Translation: Antti Mäkinen